My Final Post on Cookie

 This has to be the hardest blogpost I've ever had to write but it's something I felt I needed to do to pay a final tribute to my beloved furry companion in the hope it will help ease my grieving process that is necessary to begin healing.

In Loving Memory of Cookie

Born: Circa December 2012

Died: 12 March 2022

It wasn't that long ago when Cookie came into our lives.....tiny, hungry, alone and frightened.  He was rescued from our roof when his birth mother died under unknown circumstances.

It's a poignant reminder that I lost my little tiger in the Year of the Tiger.  Your time on earth was like a fleeting moment to me, way too brief.  You went away too soon but I hope you lived a happy and contented life with me.  A major part of my daily routine revolved around caring for you for the past 9 years that I don't know what to do with the time I now have on my hands.

I will miss you claiming our sofa, bed, dining table, kitchen top, computer table, cushions and everything else as yours.

I will miss your incessant meowing for (human) food each time we eat.

And I will miss hearing your loud meows (in reply) each time I say "Cookie, you want chicken?"

 

But, most of all, I will miss you following me everywhere around the house.

I think even my next door neighbour will miss you.  Since she heard the news of your passing, she has forwarded me the photos she took of you over the years.  Your favourite spots were sitting on top of their car and between the flower pots watching the world go by (or watching out for male cats).

I do not wish to remember that skinny, frail looking body that you were (at the vet) when you left.

I want to remember you as the cute and cheeky cat, standing tall and proud, that I know you were.

I want to remember you sleeping in the weirdest, cutest and funniest positions that always made me laugh.

I want to remember you as the natural hunter-killer that you were...and the gifts you brought me though I may not show the same appreciation or enthusiasm for them as you did.

I want to remember that innocent look of yours when you were up to mischief.....it wasn't me, mommy.

I want to remember you hogging my attention by literally spreading yourself on my keyboard so that I had to focus on you instead of writing my blog.

I want to remember your many funny antics that always brought a smile to my face.

But, most of all, I want to remember you maybe not as the king of the world but certainly the king of my heart.

Your death came so swift and sudden that neither I (nor the vet) was prepared for it.  I didn't get the chance to cuddle you one last time or say a proper goodbye.....so, here it is instead.

A Goodbye Letter to Cookie

 Even as I write this, the emotions are still raw and my heart pines for you.  The hardest thing to get over was losing you...losing your unconditonal love, affection and companionship.  I didn't think it would be so difficult (and one can't begin to understand the bond that exists between owner and pet until one have owned and lost a pet).  The second hardest thing was seeing your lifeless body at the vet one last time and the cremation photos that followed.  I will always regret not being there to hold your hand tiny little paw when you slipped away.

I wish your time with me was longer than the 9+ wonderful years you had given me...not to mention the immense joy you brought to my life...but I can't be selfish.  You were so unfortunate to be afflicted with such a delibitating disease that I should be relieved you're no longer in pain. There'll always be feelings of guilt wondering if I had done enough for you.

You were my first pet.....and my last.  I don't have it in me to go through such an emotional experience again.  Everywhere I look...your stuff, your photos, your videos, everything around the house reminds me of you.

It has been an emotionally trying time for me since your passing....a very tough week, to say the least...but you're home now.  The hardest times to get through were the nights.  Each time I close my eyes in the silence of the night, my thoughts inevitably goes to you and the floodgates will open.  You come to me in the day as memories....and haunt my waking hours.

Photos and videos of you awaken poignant memories of happier times and bring tears to my eyes.  They say time heals all wounds but you've left such an indelible scar in my heart, I don't think it will ever heal...completely.

Rest now, my Cookie.....in eternal peace in kitty heaven.

You have been a very good cat.....the best pet and companion I (or anyone) could have asked for.

You were loved...so very much.

You will be missed....dearly.

Maybe I'll see you in my dreams.

Forever your mommy. T_T